Modern Day Parenting Series - Perspective 2

 Book Reference - The Whole-Brain Child

Authors - Dr. Daniel J. Siegel and Dr Tina Payne Bryson

This is an awesome book that explains the hues and cries of modern day parenting and how today's parents at every stage of their child's life can do a better job of nurturing their child's developing mind and ensure a holistic development of the child. You can get a copy of the book from here - https://amzn.to/47lkbhG

The authors have devised 12 absolutely phenomenal strategies that would cater to most of the real life tough situations faced by parents in handling their kids emotionally, in addition to driving their point of learning across the kid's understanding. I am sharing some personal parenting experiences which are very relatable to the points explained by the authors and how it helps parents like us to try better approaches while dealing with today's kids.

HORIZONTAL INTEGRATION - An equally Important Implementation for PARENTS!

Okay! So the whole concept of Brain's Integration that we just learnt about, i.e. connecting the Right Brain with the Left and vice-versa depending upon the situations encountered with kids as a result of their behavioral inclination to one bank of the River of Well Being (Chaos v/s Rigidity), does not apply only to these developing brains of the Kids. It needs to be fully learnt and implemented by us, Parents as well! In fact, I strongly feel the urge to compel each and every parent to consciously begin thinking and acting on these lines while dealing with our kids in any mood or situation.

Why is this so Important?

Well, in our last strategy, we just discussed about making use of a strategy which involves connecting our right brain with the child's right and then redirecting the conversation all the way to analytical and logical thinking which connects it to the left brain. This is all happening in two way medium. The parents need to be in sync with this mechanism and need to practice, also ensure that they are also in the same brain zone as that of the kids. It's a two way system and needs to be in sync.

Let's take an example!

Let's consider that I understood the theoretical part of how to behave in the situation when a child throws a tantrum and gets frustrated for no logical reason, meaning, the child is deviating to the chaotic zone and is lacking emotional control. Now, for me to handle this situation, if I'm someone who just doesn't know how to talk with the child in this situation and am constantly commanding him to just calm down, without putting in any effort to connect with him/her from my side, then it's not going to work out fruitfully and the situation will worsen further. In order to sort this, I also need to consciously practice this method by first toning myself down, getting the child to settle down by acknowledging the cry or scream patiently, bring him or her in the position to listen calmly and then switch slowly to analyze and decipher the problem and provide the right reasoning and instructions for not behaving in such a way. 

This will take time but if we give it some time and effort, it is definitely going to improve the parenting phase manifolds. 

As kids grow up, at an age deemed appropriate, try explaining the left and right brain functions to the kids too! 

Yes, this is very good in the long run and will make the kids emotionally stable as they grow up, enable them to first think and then act, rather respond and not react. Since they will be able to identify as to which side of their brains are taking control over them at any point, they would be in a better position to judge themselves and by knowing the consequences of taking actions in each one of these, they will refrain from reacting spontaneously or giving into their chaos or rigidity as applicable.

What we just learnt now, is nothing but Horizontal Integration of the brain. We will also see Vertical Integration of brain in the upcoming articles and what it actually does and how it affects the overall development of the child's behavior.

Stay tuned for it! :)